Happy Birthday, Baby Pig!

Hi Sput! You just turned five yesterday but boy, it was a week-long celebration. Earlier this year, I decided that instead of celebrating your birthday with cakes and balloons like the usual, we'll just travel somewhere because it's about time you start exploring. That would be more memorable for all of us than having a party, I thought. But when it was just weeks before your birthday, I changed my mind. I CANNOT not give you a Peppa Pig cake! I just cannot. You adore Peppa with her oink-oinks and British accent and I know how much it means to blow a birthday candle in front of the class. So... we had a small-ish classroom party with cakes and balloons AND a quick trip to Palawan.

You were a handful during the trip, throwing tantrums because you hate walking and you hate the heat and you just want to go back to Room # 11... and 100 other reasons. which made mom snap a lot but I know you get me.  The best moment was when we were in room # 11 with you,waiting for you to fall asleep so we can have beer in the gazebo and you told Daddy Pig "I'll sleep on my own, Daddy, so you and mom can have your date." I almost cried. That's the kind of girl I want you to be.

Anyway, here are our pictures. Say "Palawan!"

Silly pigs!

Bearcat, that tickles.

Jammin' with the Palaw'an Tribe.

Underground River

With your new-found "beach friends." One has no front teeth so you didn't wanna go near her  at first coz eww, she doesn't brush. You played luksong tinik,taguan,kingkingbila and drew on the sand.

goofing around with Daddy pig while waiting for our boat.

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Me: You're turning five. Yey!

Marion: I don't want to be five. I want to be four forever.

Me: Why?

Marion: I don't want to be old. I don't want you to be old.

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So cute! But Sput, you're my baby always and forever and ever. And we're young as long as we keep doing things that make us feel young. like this trip and laughing and tickling and hugging in the bath (oops, thats our secret) and drawing and dancing and just being silly. Let's be silly forever. 

XOXO,

Mommy Pig

In case you wanna know what happened on September 2008

It's past 2 am and you are sleeping soundly in our room right now. I sneaked out of bed because I had this urge to write down what happened when you were born. I figured that maybe the time will come that you'd want to know more about me and your dad and the life that we had and I am not sure if by then I can recall things as vividly as now. Sooo...

It's been 1.5 years since I gave birth to you. You didn't have a normal birth. You were born 10 weeks earlier than normal. To be poetic about it, you were too excited to see the world. But the scientific explanation is that mommy had (has?) an incompetent cervix. That means the house that you're in was weak and it's impossible that you stayed there longer because you're getting bigger and bigger. 





The doctor told us you're her youngest case so far(28 week old) and that she can't promise us anything. You cannot imagine how much I cried after she said that. My worries about disappointing my parents, about my early motherhood and career...suddenly became so petty. All I wanted at that moment was for you to survive!

It was Sept 4,2008 when they admitted me to Delgado Hospital. I was still in shock and I did not want to be separated from your dad for even a split second. I was holding his hand really tight while we were in the cab to the hospital and I heard myself saying " I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this." He was just silent (Maybe he was thinking where he can borrow money for the hospital bills since we only had P1,000 cash at that time). We were so silent. That image of your dad and me inside the cab would probably be the first one to flash in my mind before I die.

I really hate hospitals. I hate the smell of it, i hate hospital food, i hate cruel hospital people, i even hate most hospital horror stories. It's the place here on earth that's closest to hell. But for four days, it became my home. The doctors inserted needles and said that I should not move too much(if possible,at all) so you would not come out. They were trying to relax my muscles hoping that my cervix would close up gain. The doctor checked me after 24 hours, and alas! The opening got wider by 1 cm. She said we cannot do anything about it but wait for you to come out and that next time I want to have a baby(whadaya mean next time I want to have a baby??!) we'll do it with extra care. At that moment, it felt like I had a hundred hearts and that they were breaking all at once.

They transferred me to a cheaper, filthier, crueler hospital (East Ave) because my doctor said that if ever you survive, you need to be incubated for a month or so and that we'd save a lot if I give birth to you in a government hospital. You may notice one trait about mommy that's quite annoying sputnik..I plan too much. That's because I want to be in control of everything as much as possible. But at that moment, I was in total surrender. I let them do whatever they want to do to me without question. Hours later, you came out. But I never got to touch you, to kiss you or to even get a glimpse of your face. They rushed you to the NICU (Intensive Care Unit). I heard you cry though when the doctor slapped your butt. It was the sweetest cry I've ever heard.

You stayed in the NICU for one whole month. Your dad and I were literally on our own so we had a tough time adjusting to everything. I was still recovering from delivery, he had to go to work but we visited you every single day. Your dad and I must've looked so foolish because we were so eager to see you everyday. The parents were required to wear a robe and wash their hands before entering the NICU and I remember your dad getting so pissed with this guy who didn't wash his hands properly. He said what if that man is carrying a disease which he would pass on to one baby and that baby would pass it on to sputnik. (Your see how crazy he is about you?)

Ah, this is getting quite long, Sput and mommy is starting to find it hard to recall the right order of things. So instead, I will just tell you the things that are still very clear to me. 


I remember how painful it is to hold a lump on my throat because I can't let the nurses see me cry when they inserted you with needles.

I remember your dad charming all the hospital people so he can step inside the delivery room and give me my comfort blanket.

I remember staring at the hospital ceiling asking myself what would happen to your dad and me if you wont survive.

I remember envying(hating) all the new moms who are holding their babies in their arms.

goodnight.i will finsih you tomorrow

Your Third Birthday

Dear Sput,

Happy Birthday! 

I don't know if you can recall this day or any of the days before this. I don't even know if you will have memories of the times we spend in the malls- you running for the toys and us chasing after you like silly watchmen guarding a pot of gold. Or...or... the times when you ride on your daddy's back to 'horsey' before we read "Old hat, New Hat" (I hope you'll take care of that book), or you helping your nanny when she's making fire for our sinugba nights...or the times when we sing and dance and rub and scrub and spin and pretend like mermaids in the bathroom.

Today is the 8th of Sept 2011, exactly your third year in this world. Yey! I hope you like it so far.

Lots of people love you, Marion. Yesterday, your Auntie Ditchi (my sister) came here to give you a present. She lives far away from us ( 1 hour travel by jeepney) and she's the type who'd rather sleep all day than go out so that really means a lot. Today, we're expecting your Papa and Mama to visit. Auntie Cee and Auntie Agnes, too. We will just have a simple dinner. Your dad promised me he'll be in-charge of the dinner because I am so stressed-out preparing 1001 stuff for your party tomorrow.

[to be continued. Your Papa and Mama are here...]

And so your Mama Mayette and Papa Vic arrived last night. Auntie Agnes and Auntie Cee, too. Auntie Agnes cooked Carbonara without cream (she just used egg whites. can you believe that?). We also had shrimps and adobo and icecream. We sang the happy birthday song and you were so cute when you looked a bit uneasy when the song was about to end...it was as if you were looking for something. Then we remembered we had no cake and you must be looking for a candle to blow. I rushed to get a candle from the cupboard and your eyes instantly glowed. We're all relieved.

See how excited you are to blow your candle? It's just a regular house candle btw.

The house was a mess because we prepared lots of stuff for your birthday. The giveaways, the games, the clubhouse sandwiches, the fruits on stick, the chicken lollipops...we were so exhasuted and we slept really late but that's okay because your party was phenomenal.

We love you!